Drx12o7 > Drx12o7's Quotes

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
― Mark Twain

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.”
― Mark Twain

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”
― Mark Twain

“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
― Mark Twain

“The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in heaven.”
― Mark Twain

“All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse.”
― Mark Twain

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”
― Mark Twain

“There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer them, or turn them into literature.”
― Mark Twain

“It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.”
― Mark Twain

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.”
― Mark Twain

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
― Mark Twain