“and I kept imagining someone like you, kind, honest, good, and as silly as you are, who would suddenly come up and say, 'You're not guilty, Natasya Filippovna, and I adore you!' And I sometimes dreamed so much that I'd go out of my mind... And then this one would come: he'd stay for two months a year, dishonor me, offend me, inflame me, debauch me, leave me - a thousand times I wanted to drown myself in the pond, but I was base, I had no courage”
―
Fyodor Dostoevsky,
The Idiot