Stewart "Stewie" > Stewart "Stewie"'s Quotes

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  • #1
    Robert Frost
    “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”
    Robert Frost

  • #2
    Thomas A. Edison
    “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
    Thomas A. Edison

  • #3
    J.K. Rowling
    “We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

  • #4
    Albert Einstein
    “I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #5
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #6
    “WHAT! WE CANT TALK AT THE SAME TIME! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, WE CAN'T DO IT! Peanut. WHAT! You said my name wrong. No it's Jeff Dun-ham. No it's dunham, No dun-ham. No dunha. No you see it says dunham jeff dun-HAM. Actually if you look at it, it say jef f dunham .com ”
    Jeff Dunham
    tags: humor

  • #7
    “So Achmed if you've been in my suitcase this entire time how have you been getting through security? Oh thats easy they open the suitcase and i say 'ello my name is lindey lohan!”
    Jeff Dunham

  • #8
    Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson
    “Get rich or die tryin'.”
    50 cent

  • #9
    Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson
    “If you die in an elevator make sure you press the UP button.”
    50 cent

  • #11
    “You can't fix stupid.”
    Larry the Cable Guy

  • #12
    “guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do”
    Larry the Cable Guy

  • #13
    Chris Rock
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
    Chris Rock

  • #15
    Anthony Horowitz
    “If this is what you do to the winner, I'd hate to see how you treat the runner up.”
    Anthony Horowitz

  • #16
    “Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
    Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
    Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!”
    Jeff Dunham

  • #17
    Al Gore
    “The global environment crisis is, as we say in Tennessee, real as rain, and I cannot stand the thought of leaving my children with a degraded earth and a diminished future.”
    Al Gore

  • #18
    Mahatma Gandhi
    “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
    Mahatma Gandhi

  • #19
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    Narcotics Anonymous

  • #20
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    Paul Terry

  • #21
    Albert Einstein
    “Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #22
    Albert Einstein
    “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #23
    Albert Einstein
    “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #24
    Albert Einstein
    “Everything must be made as simple as possible. But not simpler.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #25
    Lemony Snicket
    “Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #26
    Yogi Berra
    “Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
    Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

  • #27
    Jon   Stewart
    “I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
    Jon Stewart



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