Stewart "Stewie" > Stewart "Stewie"'s Quotes

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#1

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”
― Robert Frost

tags: reading, writing

6806 likes

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#2

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
― Thomas A. Edison

tags: edison, failure, inspirational, paraphrased

42316 likes

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#3

“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

tags: dumbledore, strength, unity

10782 likes

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#4

“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: 1929, viereck-interview

37573 likes

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#5

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148367 likes

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#6

“WHAT! WE CANT TALK AT THE SAME TIME! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, WE CAN'T DO IT! Peanut. WHAT! You said my name wrong. No it's Jeff Dun-ham. No it's dunham, No dun-ham. No dunha. No you see it says dunham jeff dun-HAM. Actually if you look at it, it say jef f dunham .com ”
― Jeff Dunham

tags: humor

41 likes

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#7

“So Achmed if you've been in my suitcase this entire time how have you been getting through security? Oh thats easy they open the suitcase and i say 'ello my name is lindey lohan!”
― Jeff Dunham

56 likes

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#8

“Get rich or die tryin'.”
― 50 cent

27 likes

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#9

“If you die in an elevator make sure you press the UP button.”
― 50 cent

57 likes

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#11

“You can't fix stupid.”
― Larry the Cable Guy

49 likes

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#12

“guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do”
― Larry the Cable Guy

25 likes

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#13

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
― Chris Rock

9413 likes

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#15

“If this is what you do to the winner, I'd hate to see how you treat the runner up.”
― Anthony Horowitz

161 likes

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#16

“Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!”
― Jeff Dunham

52 likes

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#17

“The global environment crisis is, as we say in Tennessee, real as rain, and I cannot stand the thought of leaving my children with a degraded earth and a diminished future.”
― Al Gore

tags: environmentalism

15 likes

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#18

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

tags: action, change, inspirational, misattributed-to-gandhi, philosophy, wish

114361 likes

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#19

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein

64645 likes

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#20

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins

24401 likes

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#21

“Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, imagination

24693 likes

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#22

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, children, fairy-tales

25165 likes

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#23

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: life, respect

13423 likes

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#24

“Everything must be made as simple as possible. But not simpler.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, paraphrased, science, systems

2912 likes

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#25

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

tags: funny

6422 likes

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#26

“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

tags: funny

3000 likes

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#27

“I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
― Jon Stewart

tags: canada, funny

703 likes

All Quotes

Tags From Stewart "Stewie"’s Quotes

reading
writing
edison
failure
inspirational
paraphrased
dumbledore
strength
unity
1929
viereck-interview
attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
environmentalism
action
change
misattributed-to-gandhi
wish
insanity
life
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
imagination
children
fairy-tales
respect
einstein
systems
funny
canada