Jade > Jade's Quotes

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  • #1
    Ella Wheeler Wilcox
    “It is easy to tell the toiler
    How best he can carry his pack
    But no one can rate a burden's weight
    Until it has been on his back”
    Ella Wheeler Wilcox

  • #2
    Shel Silverstein
    “I cannot go to school today"
    Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
    "I have the measles and the mumps,
    A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

    My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.
    I'm going blind in my right eye.
    My tonsils are as big as rocks,
    I've counted sixteen chicken pox.

    And there's one more - that's seventeen,
    And don't you think my face looks green?
    My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,
    It might be the instamatic flu.

    I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
    I'm sure that my left leg is broke.
    My hip hurts when I move my chin,
    My belly button's caving in.

    My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
    My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
    My toes are cold, my toes are numb,

    I have a sliver in my thumb.

    My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
    I hardly whisper when I speak.
    My tongue is filling up my mouth,

    I think my hair is falling out.

    My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
    My temperature is one-o-eight.
    My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

    There's a hole inside my ear.

    I have a hangnail, and my heart is ...
    What? What's that? What's that you say?
    You say today is .............. Saturday?

    G'bye, I'm going out to play!”
    Shel Silverstein

  • #3
    George Carlin
    “Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
    George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

  • #4
    Bette Davis
    “When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.”
    Bette Davis



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