Codbar > Codbar's Quotes

“I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!”
― George Carlin

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.”
― George Carlin

“I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.”
― George Carlin

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
― George Carlin

“Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach them to question everything.”
― George Carlin

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
― George Carlin

“You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.”
― George Carlin

“They don't want an educated populace capable of critical thought, sitting around the kitchen table realizing how badly they're getting fucked!”
― George Carlin

“The status quo sucks.”
― George Carlin

“Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom”
― George Carlin

“The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.”
― George Carlin

“No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you're screwed because it's all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain't in it.”
― George Carlin

“There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.”
― George Carlin

“The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.”
― George Carlin

“I finally figured out what e-mail is for. It’s for communicating with people you’d rather not talk to.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork chops?

“Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can’t think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!”
― George Carlin

“I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise. I think people in America sold out very cheaply, for sneakers and cheeseburgers. And I don't think it's fixable”
― George Carlin

“I don’t own any stocks or bonds. All my money is tied up in debt.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork chops?

“I get tired of people talking about ''bad words'' and ''bad language''. Bullshit! It's the context that makes them good or bad.”
― George Carlin

“The only difference between lilies and turds is whatever difference humans have agreed upon; and I don't always agree.”
― George Carlin

“Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.”
― George Carlin

“It's called the 'American dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
― George Carlin

“Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you’re honest with them. Then you’re an asshole”
― George Carlin

“Men build too many walls and not enough bridges.”
― Joseph Fort Newton

“After all, there can be no leadership where there is no team.”
― Jocko Willink, Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win

“Leaders must always operate with the understanding that they are part of something greater than themselves and their own personal interests. They”
― Jocko Willink, Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win

“When a leader takes too much ownership, there is no ownership left for the team or subordinate leaders to take. So the team loses initiative, they lose momentum, they won't make any decision, they just sit around and wait to be told what to do.”
― Jocko Willink, The Dichotomy of Leadership: Balancing the Challenges of Extreme Ownership to Lead and Win