Victoria Sobolev > Victoria's Quotes

“There are people who don’t know how to be happy. When fate throws expensive gifts their way, they look for the catch. Distrustful, they steer clear. Yet knowing how to accept such gifts with gratitude is more important than anything our parents and teachers instil in us as children. No one is going to tell you why you’re here, what your purpose is, what you’re searching for, and what to do with what you find.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Don’t hurt those you love, because such hurt will never be forgotten. It will grind your feelings into dust and you’ll either spend the rest of your life walking in it or waste what little time you have on earth searching for something else. And there’s no guarantee you’ll find it.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“There are times when I lose all control of my emotions, they explode without warning, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop the flow. It is my cross to bear and my efforts to keep it in check are enviable, but restraint has no desire to be my friend this time.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“It just so happens that my coming of age coincided with the collapse of the USSR, the re-evaluation of social and public values, economic destruction, and horrific human impoverishment. All reference points were lost. Everything had collapsed and fallen into the abyss. Our parents had no idea how to keep themselves afloat, never mind how to instil the right messages in their children and set us off in the right direction. The poverty we found ourselves in depressed and frightened my still childish mind and, like the gravitational pull of a black hole, distorted my strict, true and correct bearings. People who have achieved success command respect and reverential awe, but one’s own inability to do the same subverts any sense of personal merit by triggering a spiral of self-recrimination.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“He takes his time, and the movement of his hips and shoulders, along with the way he holds his head slightly upturned, are all evidence of his colossal self-confidence. It oozes out of him and he radiates success, power, and determination. His slender body is shaped perfectly for my modest taste: wide shoulders, narrow hips, strong arms and muscles, his summer clothes doing nothing to hide their soft outline. I am not really an admirer of male bodies, but I am definitely having trouble resisting the urge to undress this one and see the whole picture, so to speak. He is manly, but it is not a manliness that comes from time spent at the gym, but rather from nature – organically.
Nobility, gentility, and elegant manners all make up Alex’s very being. You can find them in his every movement, gesture, phrase, word, and look.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Why did you decide to become an architect?’
‘What could be more wonderful than designing and building houses? Except for giving birth, perhaps, but I can’t do that, unfortunately!’
It is a joke and we both laugh, but his words leave a magical imprint on my heart. Too bad that this imprint completely ignored my overly practical brain.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“It feels as if Alex is deliberately giving out as little information about himself as possible, that he is merely creating the illusion of openness. Yet it is clear to me that his personality is as deep as the Mariana Trench, its darkness and mystery beckon, and the desire to get closer is becoming increasingly powerful.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“My ice-cream is melting just as quickly as Danny’s and is dripping down my chin, across my wrist, and onto my thigh. I laugh, throwing my head back and covering my eyes so as not to be blinded by happiness, and it is in this moment of weightlessness that I am suddenly aware of the lightest touch on my skin, like the wings of a butterfly. It flutters against my thigh then lingers on my wrist, but before its delicate wings reach my face, I force my eyes open and see only fragments: pink lips, a tanned cheek, the features and lines of a face silhouetted against the bright sunlight. My nostrils draw in his scent for the very first time and it is so strong that he is not just next to me but intimately close. His smell instantly takes me prisoner, overpowering me to such an extent that I have forgotten who and where I am.
I know that, moments before, Alex was using his lips and tongue to clean the melted ice-cream off my thigh and wrist and inadvertently treating me to the most ecstatic experience of my life. My body and mind are adrift in a sea of bliss, the sounds of the park suddenly fade away, and the world and everyone in it cease to exist. All I can see is a blindingly bright light and all I can feel are a man’s moist lips touching mine. Alex’s hot, passionate mouth is kissing me greedily as if there is finally enough air; as if he had been suffocating, but now he can breathe.
I know that a kiss like this is neither flirting nor dating and can sense with every fibre of my being that it was a sudden impulse, unplanned and impetuous.
When Alex comes to his senses and realises what he has done, I am already staring meaningfully into his eyes. He pulls away slowly and starts to apologise, but I assure him there is no need, just not to do it again. He replies that he won’t, but his eyes say otherwise: he looks as overwhelmed as I feel.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“So, despite the steel rod forged by life’s problems, I am a woman and there is still a tenderness within me. The chance to love is pulling me in, especially as it is surely impossible to resist such a concentration of gentleness and affection, of universal beauty and charm, of success and masculinity.
Thanks to the close friendship between my mind and my heart, I can safely boast that it is easy for me to control my feelings. An internal dialogue immediately starts up, the gist of which is: ‘he’s out of your league’.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Well, and the fact that I find it unbelievably difficult to control my hormones when Alex is next to me; it’s like I’m being pulled in. The pull is not just strong, it is overwhelmingly powerful and so unbearable that it feels as if the decision has already been made – the sooner the better – and to hell with pride and good manners; to hell with all of it.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“It is the ordered motion of space bodies on a given trajectory, a single movement along intersecting paths. And waiting for the imminent collision already obvious to us both is the sweetest anticipation in the world. My conservative self is huddled in the darkest and farthest corner of my soul, trying to make itself as minuscule as possible and covering itself with a clock of invisibility as it waits in the wings.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“After a while, Alex says gently, ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Well, that depends what it is!’ I reply, mockingly.
‘Could we have some time just the two of us?’
‘Are you asking me to leave my son with someone so that we can meet up without him? Why?’
Alex turns away with a slight smile. He probably thinks I’m an idiot, but despite feeling intoxicated from his proximity, my brain, my upbringing and my good sense are all flashing two big red capital letters in my head – ‘N.O.’.
But who could possibly listen to reason under such circumstances?”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“His apartment is not only beautiful, it is unusual. Some pieces of high-tech furniture are arranged in each room with very few decorative items, but the backlit glass panels covered in intricate patterns of trapped air bubbles create the illusion of movement and provide a sense of comfort. These panels – all completely different, but each beautiful in their own way – serve as internal walls that divide up a huge space into separate rooms.
The otherworldly music, quiet and barely perceptible, suits this ‘apartment of the future’ perfectly, the relaxing background sounds adding the finishing touch. The external walls are all floor-to-ceiling windows covered in a translucent white cloth so delicate that the slightest breeze lifts them like sails, revealing an enormous terrace with a pool surrounded by plants. My nose picks up the subtle aroma of either citrus fruits or vanilla – probably also some super-advanced system to ensure a consistent fragrance.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“The thought flits through my mind that dozens of women have probably been here before me, but it is countered by another: ‘I drink from the same glasses as everyone else when I’m in a restaurant and eat from the same plates using the same forks, so what the hell is the difference?’ Especially as restaurants are very careful about cleanliness and these snow-white and perfectly ironed sheets exude the kind of freshness that even newborn babies would envy.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Suddenly, I am aware of a warm hand on my back sliding slowly downwards, only barely touching my skin. I freeze, listening, then feel the hand again, this time sliding from my shoulder to my wrist. Alex takes my hand gently and slowly turns it over, then lifts it to his lips and kisses my wrist. The kiss is full of so much tenderness and feeling that my head starts to spin, my legs go weak.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Then that look. It is full of energy, and two such looks together would generate a burst of electricity, a nuclear explosion, the climax of the mind game called attraction.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Holding him tight and kissing his lips, I am suddenly struck by a strange, inexplicable feeling, as if I have rediscovered something lost long ago, something familiar and of the utmost importance.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“I can feel myself falling deeper and deeper with every cell of my being, and it is to my great regret that it is not just a wave of lust. My heart is thumping so loudly that I’m afraid he can hear it.
DON’T FALL IN LOVE.
Just don’t.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“All day, my brain is floating up in the Andromeda nebula; I cannot concentrate on anything. The soup boils for about three hours and my email goes unchecked, although I open the inbox five times or more. Letters do not add up to words, or words to sentences, and my eyes close of their own accord to give free reign to last night’s memories.
I really want to live for myself, to be myself, to dream, to enjoy this unique moment of my life.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“What do you love the most?’ he asks.
‘Dark chocolate and coffee. You?’
‘Looking at you and kissing your lips...”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Suddenly, I receive a message with a smiley face. Then another one, and another, and another. After about an hour of smiley faces, I type:
(Me) ‘Are you too weak for words?’
(Alex) ‘No! When can I see you?’
(Me) ‘When do you want to see me?’
(Alex) ‘Now. No, a second ago. No, an eternity ago!’
(Me) ‘Hmm... So I’m already in the past?’
And then, suddenly, I hear his voice:
‘Only a tiny bit of you. The rest is in the future, all 99.99%.’ I turn and he’s behind me, smiling, his beautiful lips stretching from ear to ear.
I am already used to the sudden appearances of this strange, almost otherworldly man and do not even gasp in surprise.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“I open my eyes and find Alex looking at me expectantly. As soon as I regain the ability to listen, he asks: ‘Do you want more?’
Absolutely not! Ladies should beat a modest retreat after such excessively rampant proof of their shameful lust. I open my mouth to utter a confident and resounding ‘NO’, but instead find myself saying: ‘Yes!’
I swear I have no idea how it happened!”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“My mind seems happy elsewhere. I am in a state of complete and utter prostration and am trying to concentrate with great... no, with enormous difficulty. I open my eyes but something is wrong with my vision, the image is blurry. I finally manage to focus and once again see his eyes – mischievous, contented, almost triumphant – and hear the same question: ‘Do you want more?’
‘Yes!’
Good God, who is saying that to him? And why does their voice sound so much like mine?”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“As soon as reality starts flooding back in, I desperately try to figure out what just happened. It takes time, and not until quite a while later do I see Alex. Stretched out next to me, his head resting on his arm, he is watching me come to my senses with the sweetest smile I have ever seen. As soon as my gaze falls on his face, he says that word again.
‘More?’
And I don’t know who it is, but someone replies: ‘Yes!”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“I am woken in the morning by something strange going on with my hands. I open my eyes and see Alex kissing my fingers.
‘What are you doing?’ I ask in surprise.
‘Kissing your fingers.’
‘Why my fingers?’
‘Because that’s where you have the most nerve endings; because I wanted to wake you up; because your coffee has already gone cold; and because I have to go to a meeting. I left you a note and my keys, but I thought that I couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye and so here I am, saying goodbye.’ And then he gives me a slow, lingering kiss.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“The day actually did have a huge impact on his career, because it was the day that his meteoric, almost vertical flight into the business world began, but I only found this out years later.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Alex, Alex, Alex... A man made of tenderness and passion, he showers me in kisses as if they’re blessings and his embraces fill me with energy, warmth and happiness. Yet neither of us have ever said the word ‘love’ to each other. Not once.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“But the fact remains: in terms of physiology and anatomy, we fit together like two jigsaw pieces, much as our voices merged into one, complementing each other, when we sang the song that later became ‘ours’.”
― Victoria Sobolev

“The swimming has sobered us both up and Alex whispers: ‘Now we can go to bed.’
‘Only now?’
‘Only now,’ he smiles.
‘Why not before?’
‘What’s the point of doing something based on sensuality at a time when you sense nothing?’ And with these words he once again takes me in his arms and carries me back to our terrace, to our room, and to our bed.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“We sleep for two hours a day and it seems to be enough – either because the air here is so clean or the sun is so beneficial, or our happiness is so immense... Happiness?”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover