Victoria Sobolev

“My ice-cream is melting just as quickly as Danny’s and is dripping down my chin, across my wrist, and onto my thigh. I laugh, throwing my head back and covering my eyes so as not to be blinded by happiness, and it is in this moment of weightlessness that I am suddenly aware of the lightest touch on my skin, like the wings of a butterfly. It flutters against my thigh then lingers on my wrist, but before its delicate wings reach my face, I force my eyes open and see only fragments: pink lips, a tanned cheek, the features and lines of a face silhouetted against the bright sunlight. My nostrils draw in his scent for the very first time and it is so strong that he is not just next to me but intimately close. His smell instantly takes me prisoner, overpowering me to such an extent that I have forgotten who and where I am.
I know that, moments before, Alex was using his lips and tongue to clean the melted ice-cream off my thigh and wrist and inadvertently treating me to the most ecstatic experience of my life. My body and mind are adrift in a sea of bliss, the sounds of the park suddenly fade away, and the world and everyone in it cease to exist. All I can see is a blindingly bright light and all I can feel are a man’s moist lips touching mine. Alex’s hot, passionate mouth is kissing me greedily as if there is finally enough air; as if he had been suffocating, but now he can breathe.
I know that a kiss like this is neither flirting nor dating and can sense with every fibre of my being that it was a sudden impulse, unplanned and impetuous.
When Alex comes to his senses and realises what he has done, I am already staring meaningfully into his eyes. He pulls away slowly and starts to apologise, but I assure him there is no need, just not to do it again. He replies that he won’t, but his eyes say otherwise: he looks as overwhelmed as I feel.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Well, and the fact that I find it unbelievably difficult to control my hormones when Alex is next to me; it’s like I’m being pulled in. The pull is not just strong, it is overwhelmingly powerful and so unbearable that it feels as if the decision has already been made – the sooner the better – and to hell with pride and good manners; to hell with all of it.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“There are people who don’t know how to be happy. When fate throws expensive gifts their way, they look for the catch. Distrustful, they steer clear. Yet knowing how to accept such gifts with gratitude is more important than anything our parents and teachers instil in us as children. No one is going to tell you why you’re here, what your purpose is, what you’re searching for, and what to do with what you find.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“Don’t hurt those you love, because such hurt will never be forgotten. It will grind your feelings into dust and you’ll either spend the rest of your life walking in it or waste what little time you have on earth searching for something else. And there’s no guarantee you’ll find it.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“There are times when I lose all control of my emotions, they explode without warning, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop the flow. It is my cross to bear and my efforts to keep it in check are enviable, but restraint has no desire to be my friend this time.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover

“It just so happens that my coming of age coincided with the collapse of the USSR, the re-evaluation of social and public values, economic destruction, and horrific human impoverishment. All reference points were lost. Everything had collapsed and fallen into the abyss. Our parents had no idea how to keep themselves afloat, never mind how to instil the right messages in their children and set us off in the right direction. The poverty we found ourselves in depressed and frightened my still childish mind and, like the gravitational pull of a black hole, distorted my strict, true and correct bearings. People who have achieved success command respect and reverential awe, but one’s own inability to do the same subverts any sense of personal merit by triggering a spiral of self-recrimination.”
― Victoria Sobolev, Monogamy Book One. Lover