“MBR: You know, when you first started to talk, I felt a lot of anger, a lot of frustration, sadness, and discouragement, because I’ve had very different experiences with Jews than you’ve had, and I was wanting you to have much more the kind of experiences I’ve had. Can you tell me what you heard me say? Man: Oh, I’m not saying they’re all … MBR: Excuse me, hold on, hold it. Can you tell me what you heard me say? Man: What are you talking about? MBR: Let me repeat what I’m trying to say. I really want you to just hear the pain I felt when I heard your words. It’s really important to me that you hear that. I was saying I felt a real sense of sadness because my experiences with Jewish people have been very different. I was just wishing that you had had some experiences that were different from the ones you were describing. Can you tell me what you heard me say? Man: You’re saying I have no right to talk the way I did. MBR: No, I would like you to hear me differently. I really don’t want to blame you. I have no desire to blame you. Our need is for the other person to truly hear our pain. I intended to slow down the conversation, because in my experience, to whatever degree people hear blame, they have failed to hear our pain. If this man said, “Those were terrible things for me to say; those were racist remarks I made,” he would not have heard my pain. As soon as people think that they have done something wrong, they will not be fully apprehending our pain.”