“When a child is programmed to deny the Self and only obey orders, that person, as an adult, likely hasn’t developed the skill of knowing what he or she likes or doesn’t like, so, therefore, he or she does not have the ability to make a wise decision when choosing a partner. It’s easier to take orders and be compliant than to make a decision based on Self. Being told what to do, including who to be with, feels comfortable and familiar to adults who were overly controlled as children because that is how they have been programmed. As stated earlier, I believe neglect to be the foundation stone of outright abuse, although many neglected adults have developed ways of denying, justifying, and minimizing the abusive behavior they experience in relationships.”