“There are two main principles to keep in mind when deciding how much potential an abuser has to become a kind, respectful partner in the long run:

1. He cannot change unless he deals deeply with his entitled and superior attitudes. No superficial changes that he may make offer any real hope for the future.

2. It makes no different how nice he is being to you, since almost all abusers have nice periods. What matters is how respectful and noncoercive he chooses to become.”