“I also remember my own smugness… that somehow, because I was so careful and well behaved—the attentive listening, the regular sex, my self-appointed role as #1 Fan of Adam Carver—our marriage was insulated. That what happened to those other foolish couples would never happen to us because I was so on guard against it. I lost myself in becoming Adam’s wife, and later, the girls’ mother. I forgot to be a person, too, a person who was well within her rights to say, “I’m too tired, tonight, honey. How about a back rub instead? I would really appreciate it.”