“Sometimes, and I don’t know why, everything I want to say to you presses upon me with great intensity, like a crowd of people all trying to squeeze through a narrow door at once. And I have said nothing to you, less than nothing, for everything I have written recently has been false—not fundamentally, of course, because fundamentally everything is true—but with so much confusion and falseness on the surface that no one could be expected to see through it.”