“Without electronics to help me through my miserable life, I decided that I’d start working out. It would be great. My dad has a weight room in the basement that he doesn’t really use anymore, so I could lift down there. I began fantasizing about becoming huge and having girls all over me, which helped me through the rest of the evening, but of course I never actually got to lifting. All I did was lie down and dream, until school bitch slapped me into consciousness the following morning." - Michael”