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André Gide

“我对自己所说的“美德”抱有隐约的怨恨,也埋怨萦绕心头的伦俗之事。这最后一次会面,好像过分夸大了我的爱情,也耗尽了我的热情。阿莉莎的每句话,起初总让我愤愤不平,但在抗议频频失利之后,又得意扬扬地在我心上活跃起来。唉!她必定是对的。我钟爱的不过是个影子。我爱过的那个阿莉莎已不复存在……唉!我们肯定是老了!诗意就这样消失在眼前,让我恐惧和寒心,但这终究是回归自然罢了,没什么大不了的。我将阿莉莎一点点抬高,把她塑造成偶像,用所有喜欢的东西装点着她。而如今,除却疲乏之外,这番经营还剩下什么呢?一放任自流,阿莉莎就会降回平庸的层次;而我也一样,若处于那个层次,就不会再爱她。为了与她在同一个高度相见,我单凭自身努力抬高了她。这番令人疲惫的美德努力到底有多么荒唐和虚幻啊!如果我们当初都少一些自大,这份爱情本来很简单……然而,从今往后,坚守一份没有对象的爱情,到底有何意义呢?这是顽固,而不是忠诚。忠于什么?一个误会吗?承认自己弄错了,难道不是最明智之举吗?”

André Gide, 窄門
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窄門 (Traditional Chinese Edition) 窄門 by André Gide
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