“These arguments bring to mind the long-running “My Strength Is Not for
Hurting” campaign by Men Can Stop Rape, an admirable project led by
feminist men but also an example of the fact that, apparently, one of the
most effective strategies for getting straight men on board with profeminist,
antirape messages is giving them space to celebrate their masculinity in the
same breath. From a queer perspective, this is one of the more discouraging
elements of the heterosexual tragedy: when straight men move toward
feminism, they almost always do so in ways that prop up the gender binary
that causes their problems in the first place! Straight men’s feminism—
when anchored in gender-essentialist ideas about “real manhood”—also
relies on the emotional labor of straight women who are compelled to
celebrate and reward men for putting their “masculine energy” or “male
strength” to a nonviolent use.”