“But in truth, breaking the people-pleasing-pattern is the gateway to a rich, new terrain of giving: a giving that is sincere, genuine, and boundaries. Now our offerings of kindness are voluntary, not obligatory. They're given by goodwill, not by guilt. We trust ourselves to say no, so when we say yes, we really mean it-- and our giving, instead of masking resentment and obligation, becomes an openhearted expression of care and compassion for others. In this way, breaking the people-pleasing-pattern allows us to experience the real joy of giving to others, and the joy of giving to ourselves.”