“Sidenote on crying: there’s a procedure for that, too.
More specifically, the procedure involves what to do about tissues. I teach my students crying is an effective way to express and release emotion. When patients and family members are vulnerable enough to cry in front of us, they give us a beautiful gift. Handing someone a box of tissues as soon as the tears start falling might feel helpful, but it can also send the message, “You’re making me uncomfortable. Please stop crying.”
If I immediately shove a tissue box in someone’s face, the tears often stop. I’ve interrupted the flow of emotion. Instead, I just locate the tissue box in the room with my eyes. I don’t push it away like some sadist if the patient reaches for it; but until they do, or until they let out a sigh and start looking around the room for the box, I just let them talk and cry. Let the tears soak their hands, their sleeves, their blankets, whatever is available—let it all pour out! When they’re ready, their body language will let me know. Then I’ll hand them the tissues.”