“i’m not made to be free, and have different people always trying to tie me down,” Paul tells Anthony in one version of the scene in which he announces he will marry Mary, which Jackson rewrote half a dozen times. “i’m going to make myself an average, normal, married man, with children, and a home, and mary, and then i’ll hide my head in the haystack of the usual—” Anthony cuts in: “and try to pretend you’re happy.”