“The anguish of doubt began. It was an ancient weakness of mine, a willingness to disbelieve in oneself, engendered now by the quite understandable doubts of my offspring. A bad pain for a father. There are worse pains, of course, but this one was strong. God, I love them, but I’ve never been enough for them. I was suddenly pierced by a terrible fear. Could I be the victim of my own paranoia? Perhaps this flight from an ordered society was simply a late-blooming neurotic reaction to my wife’s departure and other crises, such as the demolition of my career and a hell of a pile of stress.”