“You decide not to react to her with your typical set of automatic programs. Instead, you begin to think about who you no longer want to be, and who you want to be instead. You ask yourself, How do I not want to feel, and how am I not going to act, when I see her? Your frontal lobe begins to “cool off” the neural circuits that are connected to the old you; you’re starting to unwire or prune away that old you from functioning as an identity. You could say that because your brain isn’t firing in the same way, you’re no longer creating the same mind.”