“Once upon a time he kicked around out with my big brother; now he’s still hanging out with nineteen-year-olds, even though his black shoulder-length hair is going thin at the temples. He’s wearing a black hoodie that says I AUTOEROTIC AXPHYXIATE ON THE FIRST DATE. He catches me reading it. “Confused, Eddie mate? Guess you guys were all tealights, Ed Sheeran, and missionary. Am I right?”