“somehow I was alive at the end of it That's what I told myself -- Well, you're still alive. I think all of us said the same each morning when we woke up -- Well, I'm still alive. But the truth is, we weren't. What we were -- it wasn't dead, but it wasn't alive either. I was a living soul only a few minutes a day, when I was in my bunk. Those times, I tried to think of something happy, something I'd liked -- but not something I loved, for that made it worse.”