“Loneliness can be experienced as both frightening and liberating. When in child consciousness, adults may still experience the loneliness as terrifying. These clients often rely on adaptive survival strategies to manage and limit their lives. When in adult consciousness, adults may experience the loneliness as relief, expansion, and increasing freedom. These clients often report an increased sense of internal space and depth in which to meet the world. We track cycles of connection–disconnection in the service of disidentification. As identifications dissolve, people often experience increasing states of connection: expansion, freedom, hope, strength, and aliveness. One way we resource our clients is to reflect to them when they are able to stay in states of connection for longer periods of time. As people experience greater internal organization, they feel less compelled by old strategies of disconnection. Instead of relying on adaptive survival strategies to control their lives, they experience increasing agency and choice.”
―
The Practical Guide for Healing Developmental Trauma: Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model to Address Adverse Childhood Experiences and Resolve Complex Trauma
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