“Also, lately, I kept wanting to … not so much die as simply not be alive anymore. I didn’t want to kill myself—God, no, far from it—I just kept thinking about how nothingness, a nothingness in which I am not even aware of nothingness, would be sort of delicious. This, even though the world has wonderful stuff to offer, like my family and ice cream and the NBA playoffs. I’d be driving in to work or cleaning the kitchen or trying to sleep and boom! there came the thoughts of longing for the void, a void that I fully understood I would not perceive because that’s the thing about voids. This feeling was morbid and, yes, depressing, but it was also just pesky. What it really was, of course, was a mind that wanted to rest but kept whirring along and pushing me to dark places”