“When choosing a Breakup Buddy, there's probably someone who immediately comes to mind. If not, pick someone with at least three of these qualities: 1. Has at least a mild knowledge of your relationship. 2. Is a good listener or is good at pretending they are. 3. Thinks you're the cat's pajamas! 4. Has a cell phone, pager, or other reliable way of being contacted. 5. Lives in close enough proximity to be accessible during emergency breakup meltdowns. 6. Has an hour a day to talk to you should you need them. 7. Has been through a breakup as well. 8. Does not work as a professional clown.”