“It’s not that I don’t want to make the most of the day, or that I don’t care about getting home. It’s that I want those things so badly that I feel paralyzed. I know it doesn’t make sense. It’s just the way I’ve always been. Alyssa used to get on my case about procrastinating on stuff, but the truth is, I don’t think that what I do counts as procrastination. Procrastinating is telling yourself, I’ll do it later. What I do is tell myself, I’ll do it now, and then I just . . . don’t. When I’m on my medication, it’s better, but still hard. When I’m off it . . . well. You may as well ask me to run a triathlon as do my homework. Beginning either seems equally daunting.”