“If you're a Lion, it has to do with shame. If you're a Unicorn, it has to do with fear. Looking to your own inner state, rather than to the other person's behavior, sets up the possibility of getting your underlying emotional need met. For Unicorns, this has to do with safety. For Lions, it's about approval in some form or another. Being able to state the pain clearly, without any defense, is essential in order not to trigger the other person's defense. You want the possibility of a compassionate response.”