“Life is a continuous process of unlearning for minorities and anyone with less power. These groups - women, people of color, and, in the next chapter, disabled people - can find it very difficult to claim asexuality because it looks so much like the product of sexism, racism, ableism, and other forms of violence. The legacy of this violence is that those who belong to a group that has been controlled must do the extra work to figure out the extent to which we are still being controlled.”