“Often when couples don’t succeed at compromising, it isn’t through lack of trying but because they’ve gone about it the wrong way. Negotiation is possible only after you’ve followed the steps above—softening start-up, repairing your discussion, and keeping calm. Together, these will create a positive atmosphere. Remember: Compromise is not about just one person changing. It’s about negotiating and finding ways to accommodate each other. You will not be able to compromise successfully if you don’t accept your partner’s flaws and foibles. Instead, you will be on a relentless campaign to alter your spouse.”