“On a three-by-five card, write the following words: I’m feeling angry right now, but don’t worry. I’m not going to attack you. But I do need your help. Is this a good time to talk? Put this card on the refrigerator door or some other easily accessible place. The next time you feel anger toward your spouse, run for the card. Holding it in your hand, read it to your spouse as calmly as you can. If it’s not “a good time to talk,” then set a time to talk. And at the appointed time, begin the process of seeking an explanation and resolution of the issue that stimulated your anger.”