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Goodreads asked Rafael:

What’s your advice for aspiring writers?

Rafael At the risk of being obvious, an aspiring writer must write. You must write until you have achieved an intuitive understanding of what I refer to as 'deep writing'. What is 'deep writing'? I present three examples.

1. Like religion, the faceless officials demanded obedience.

On its face, nothing jumps out from this sentence as 'wrong'. Even if it had a grammatical error, and it doesn't, grammatical perfection can sometimes be sacrificed for stylistic purposes. Almost always, it can be sacrificed in dialogue but never, in either case, if clarity is compromised.

In this sentence, however, the adjective 'faceless' provides the clue. These are vague, nebulous, unknown officials. The definite article 'the' dilutes the adjective, indeed, contradicts it. Ambiguousness cannot be specific.

Like religion, faceless officials demanded obedience.

'Seeing' that this sentence now conveys a shadowy sentiment more powerfully is 'deep writing'. Moreover, on re-write and edit, stop at every occurrence of 'the'. You'll be astonished how often you can remove it and thereby 'deepen' your writing.

2. Ann motioned in the air, as if with an eraser on an old-fashioned chalkboard.

Prepositional phrases, an essential component of the English language, are anathema to sentence rhythm and musicality. Rhythm and musicality permit a reader to forget he or she is reading and enter a state where the story flows directly into the mind's eye. Prepositional phrases interrupt sentence rhythm. On re-write and edit, look for every opportunity to reduce or eliminate them altogether.

Ann motioned eraser-like, as if on an old-fashioned chalkboard.

Sentence rhythm and musicality are highly, highly subjective and include aspects of voice and style. Taken together, these elements are antecedent to 'deep writing'. Nonetheless, the revised sentence has much better 'flow'.

3. The beast leaped in the air.

Verbs are essential to writing. Strong verbs are essential to good writing. Resist diluting them. 'In the air' is unnecessary. Two points on strong verbs. On re-write and edit, be merciless in removing 'was' from your writing. I read one editor who referred to it as 'wasitis'. 'Was' is a lazy substitute for an appropriate or strong verb. Yes, it will require work and effort. The result will be 'deep writing'.

Secondly, the admonition against adverbs is correct. They too, are lazy substitutes for strong verbs. Though sometimes unavoidable (they are a legitimate component of the English language), Watch for them. Lazy writing makes for lazy stories.



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