Nicole Thole Yes. Her reason for not getting married was her fear that it would end like her first marriage. She wasn't afraid of marriage per say...she was afraid of the mental and emotional stress that divorce could bring. She wanted to figure out what marriage meant to different types of cultures and people. She wanted to find out why people who are in arranged marriages seem to be so stable and why they tend to last. And why the absence of love and passion at the begining of a romance still has intimacy after many years. She wanted to know if her marriage to Felipe would stand the test of time, or if the fact that they weren't married made the relationship work. The book isn't about finding the meaning of marriage, it's about realizing that not every marriage means love, and the absence of marriage doesn't mean the absence of love and commitment. Her journey was about assuaging her own discomfort with marriage, so she could go into her own marriage whole-heartedly rather than feeling like she was being forced to do something awful. And she is able to realize that she can let go of her messy first divorce and commit herself to a wonderful man.