Nancy Steiner answers “Why was Rye such a jerk, especially...”

Ginger asked this question about The Women:

Why was Rye such a jerk, especially considering he was one of Finlay's best friends and he treats his sister like just a piece of ass?

Nancy Steiner

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[This is definitely a question that keeps me up at night. Is Rye a jerk? Yes and no.

He is trapped. Trapped in a marriage he entered into before Vietnam without really thinking it through. Although it was the1960’s and she was pregnant. Not a lot of options for him. A total jerk would have gone to war without marrying her.

So he meets Frankie and falls in love. Yes, deeply in love. The author proved it over and over again. But he was a jerk for hiding behind an engagement and then “breaking it off” when he realized he couldn’t get Frankie into bed any other way. But that seduction scene in Hawaii! What woman wouldn’t fall for that!

After he was shot down, the Navy notified his wife that he was still alive and she wrote to him saying she never gave up. But who could have blamed her if she did? She thought she was a widow, a single mom with a daughter, in the 1960’s. Could anyone blame her for remarrying? She didn’t, but Frankie almost did and also got pregnant. Anyone else find it strange that she never told Rye about that? They were both hiding things.

I read a comment that Rye used Frankie’s love for him against her, and I agree. He went to her house, put his foot in the door so she couldn’t close it on him, pushed his way in, agreed to leave after one drink, agreed to leave after one kiss, all the while planning to seduce her back into bed. Then all he had to do was keep her there, with lies. Points for being a jerk.

But just like in Vietnam, he couldn’t give her up and he couldn’t tell her the truth. He was trapped. He truly loved Frankie, but it’s like he was in another prison. He couldn’t get out of his marriage. Missy was the woman who kept him going in Hanoi, had his daughter, and now had another one on the way. And his marriage was public. There were reporters at the hospital because he was a famous POW. If he left her, he would be the most hated man in America, and would come to hate himself.

But even as he’s standing 5 feet away from his newborn son and wife, he’s still trying to hang on to Frankie. Truly pathetic. Then as she’s leaving, the only thing he can say is I’m sorry? He’s sorry??!! Yeah, major big time jerk points there.

But he is destroyed and that pulls at my heart. I try to imagine him watching Frankie drive away, knowing how much he loved her. He has to walk back into the hospital to a woman he doesn’t love, a woman who just cost him Frankie. He is no longer the gorgeous, brave fighter pilot. Now he is broken, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He can no longer fly. What will he do? I foresee him becoming old and bitter, like his father. And that breaks my heart. (hide spoiler)]

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Annie I appreciate this perspective. Having read The Women last week and thinking about Rye ever since, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one struggling wit ...more
Apr 22, 2025 02:17PM

Emily Panakos Oh wow… the last sentence of your comment nailed it on the head!! “Who lives with the scars of war and heartbreak all because he inspired her to go on ...more
Apr 28, 2025 09:39PM

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