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Stephanie
They were responsible. Near the end, it's mentioned they had to do it. They didn't explain the why, but it seems likely that without severing Shadow's only tie to family, Shadow never would have gone along with Wednesday's job offer.
Katy
Thor is not in this novel, except as a throwaway reference as a dead god. Loki and Wednesday/Odin were responsible for the accident, yes. During the confrontation at the battle, they heavily, heavily imply it to Shadow, if not state it outright.
Jillian
I'm pretty sure they were responsible for it. They needed Shadow to work for Wednesday and he wouldn't have if he had a wife and job to go back to once he got out of prison.
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