Dawne Webber asked this question about Tom Lake:
Did anyone else realize Joe and Nelson were the same person before it's revealed in Chapter 12? It seems to me that the three girls would have made some comment when Lara tells them about the first time she met Nelson, the director: Oh, here's the part where you met Dad? What did you think of him?
Karen Patchett clearly did NOT identify Nelson as Lara's husband Joe (and I don't remember there being any way to know it was him) until the big revelation …morePatchett clearly did NOT identify Nelson as Lara's husband Joe (and I don't remember there being any way to know it was him) until the big revelation and I thought doing it in this way was contrived and disruptive, for the very reason you cite. The girls made a big deal about Lara seeing the farm for the first time, certainly they would have made a big deal about her meeting their dad. (less)
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