Jen asked Kaje Harper:

Hi Kaje, Have you ever had to deal with a problematic follower? My daughter started writing LGBTQ+ stories online about 4 years ago and has acquired a very problematic follower. Started out as “I love you” and has turned into them calling her every bad thing under the sun. Do you just block and report? How do you deal with it emotionally? I’ve never had to deal with this, so I’m not sure what to tell her.

Kaje Harper I am so sorry that's happening to her. I've had a couple of people who came after me online (eg. one-starring my books and sending nasty messages; one was a guy I'd chatted with but then had to ban from the YA group, which tipped him over the edge) but I've never had the devoted-follower-to-abusive-stalker pattern so I don't have great advice for her.

I definitely block everywhere possible, social media and emails if any, and report, but emotionally that's not difficult when someone is nasty from the start. Given that someone got shot just for flying the rainbow flag, there's hate from unstable people out there that has zero to do with either who we are or the actual books.

I don't know if it helps for her to think about it like domestic abuse - someone who starts out all loving and supportive but underneath is looking for ownership and control and gets nasty over time. That is never the victim's fault. But it sure takes an emotional toll.

Is she writing under a pen name? I definitely wish her all the best. Abusive stalkers are awful.

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