Sonia asked C. JoyBell C.:

I really need some advice if you don't mind it. What do you do when you are dating someone that is the one person that makes you feel alive, the one person who makes your pain go away, the one who makes you feel like the world is just a distant memory, how do you tell them that you want to spend the rest of your life with them?

C. JoyBell C. Oh wow. I feel pressure right about now— hahha!

Well first of all, thank you for your trust. But I would like to say that I can't be liable for the outcome of your life, okay? :) I mean, whatever I say here, you still need to act out of your own discretion (you can consider this my disclaimer right about now).

Well, the advice I can give you now, is not to make this person the reason for your pain to go away, not to make this person the reason for the world becoming a mere distant memory, not to make this person be the reason why you feel alive. You can't let this person be all of these things to you, because you need to be all of these things for yourself. Now, we all want to have these things from another person, however, as a woman you simply can't do that yet, not until he expresses the same for you. Men have a fear of being needed and a fear of not being needed. Basically, they are afraid when you don't need them and they are afraid when you do need them. You don't want to jump onto either end of the spectrum. It would be better if we could all just be pure and simple and innocent towards one another, but unfortunately, this is not how the world turns on its hinges. So from one woman to another woman, I would advise you to make yourself into your own anchor, to do things for your own self, in your life, learn new things, go new places, don't let this one person become your anchor, not yet. But when the time comes, by all means, do respond to him and let him know! :) But if he's not there yet, then don't. :) We can't make anyone feel for us the way we want them to feel for us, we have to let that happen all on its own. :) Moreover, men don't like to feel like they're being pressured into responding to anything; they want to be the ones pressuring you into responding to something. It's just the way that they are, unfortunately. Of course, when you reach a certain level, hopefully, this won't be the case anymore. But if you're not there yet, just focus on you, your life, don't lay your life down for him until he shows you that he really wants you in his life as a part of it. :) When he shows you that, then respond and tell him that you've always felt like that for a long time already. :)

C. Bells

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