Marie
Marie asked:

Admittedly, I just rapidly skimmed through this book, but I was utterly confused as to why it doesn't seem to deal at all with the fearful-avoidant attachment style. What gives?

Emily Pierce I agreed, I was really hoping it would break down the fearful-avoidant attachment style since that's the one my partner exhibits that prompted my therapist to recommend this book to me as well. There are plenty of articles and videos online about the fearful-avoidant attachment type--but just be careful, I got sucked down the rabbit hole and it was too overwhelming for me. The nice thing about this book is is skims the surface of each one, and you can see where the fearful-avoidant is a toxic combination of avoidant and anxious and what happens....wanting intimacy more than anything but being afraid of it and pushing people away when they get close and they love them.
Meredith Strunk My understanding is that the anxious-avoidant style is rare enough (less than 2% of population) that it does not make sense to cover in this book. Additionally, individuals with that style or those in relationship with them, need a much more comprehensive book. So this is written in simple terms for 98% of the population, which I believe it meets it's goal!
Nat Interesting, I see they did mention it, calling it the 'anxious-avoidant' at the very beginning of the book but didn't talk about it. Good to know. The rest of the book was fascinating, makes so much sense and seems so simple but in reality to categorize yourself in one of the three types is a strange feeling!
Lauren Conrad It covers four attachment styles, avoidant, anxious, anxious-avoidant (which is a combination of the first two), and secure. They spend a lot less time on anxious-avoidant than on the other three. Not sure why. But they do include a chapter on it. That is one downside of this book, but I still loved the book as a dating resource. My therapist recommended it to me and to several other patients. The other patients say, this is the book I wish I knew about in my 20s. I am thankful to have read this book while still in my 20s.
Sherry It talks about it briefly but mostly breaks it down to secure, avoidant, and anxious. It talks about how understanding both the anxious and the avoidant attachment styles will help those who are fearful-avoidant. Disappointing but seems like its rare enough the writers didn't feel like it was worth covering.
Image for Attached
Rate this book
Clear rating

About Goodreads Q&A

Ask and answer questions about books!

You can pose questions to the Goodreads community with Reader Q&A, or ask your favorite author a question with Ask the Author.

See Featured Authors Answering Questions

Learn more