Colettejohnson
asked:
In Sam's first letter to Lou, when he wrote "I deceived you once and it's important to me that you know I will never mislead or deceive you again" did that mean that he misled her about still being with Katie when he was not? At her granddad's funeral? Or that in fact he had actually been with Katie while they were in a relationship? Did he actually sleep with Katie before Lou tried to surprise him?
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Natalia
It's all too ambiguous (and I am wondering if it's not deliberately like that).
His actual words were: "I wasn’t entirely truthful when we last met. So I’m writing to you now, [...] because I deceived you once and it’s important to me that you never feel I did that again. I’m not with her. I wasn’t when I last saw you." So, he was apologising for not being completely honest and telling her right there at the funeral that he is not with Katie, maybe leading her to believe that they were a couple. He said that Katie was "fine" and that was that, Lou was left hurt.
But as for actially being with Katie while they were in a relationship and sleeping with her before Lou tried to suprise him, that is the big question. Sam clearly tells Lou just after Christmas that he didn't sleep with her ("If you won’t hear anything else, I do need you to hear that.") and bearing in mind that this is true, it could really be that he "deceived" when he allowed Katie to be so close to him while denying everything to Lou. But the fact is he didn't only invite her for dinner that night, it was going on for some time when they went out and were all over each other and visited each other's places; she was wearing his shirt for god's sake and, clearly, they both knew where it was going. As Lou put it - he hooked up with someone else as soon as she was gone. And when she said that he didn't even deny it. His only excuse was that he doesn't "love" Katie, like that is supposed to make anybody feel better!
All of this really pisses me off, even more so - though we don't exactly know how far this surrogate relationship would go if Lou hadn't accidently spied on them - once he broke up with Lou and she was all hurt and heartbroken, it didn't put him off from futher pursuing his thing with Katie.
I'm sorry that I didn't give a more definite answer, it's just all this thing was a great disappointment to me and I was burdened with the same questions as you and I also wanted to discuss it with somebody. I hope someone will be able to explain Sam's cheating in a way that I would understand and forgive him like Lou did, because right now I am at a loss.
Actually, was it right for me to assume that Sam dated Katie after his break up with Lou but before the funeral ("I’m not with Katie. I wasn’t when I last saw you. I don’t want to say too much but it became clear pretty quickly that we are very different people")? The writing is so evasive, it kind of tells everything but not exactly.
His actual words were: "I wasn’t entirely truthful when we last met. So I’m writing to you now, [...] because I deceived you once and it’s important to me that you never feel I did that again. I’m not with her. I wasn’t when I last saw you." So, he was apologising for not being completely honest and telling her right there at the funeral that he is not with Katie, maybe leading her to believe that they were a couple. He said that Katie was "fine" and that was that, Lou was left hurt.
But as for actially being with Katie while they were in a relationship and sleeping with her before Lou tried to suprise him, that is the big question. Sam clearly tells Lou just after Christmas that he didn't sleep with her ("If you won’t hear anything else, I do need you to hear that.") and bearing in mind that this is true, it could really be that he "deceived" when he allowed Katie to be so close to him while denying everything to Lou. But the fact is he didn't only invite her for dinner that night, it was going on for some time when they went out and were all over each other and visited each other's places; she was wearing his shirt for god's sake and, clearly, they both knew where it was going. As Lou put it - he hooked up with someone else as soon as she was gone. And when she said that he didn't even deny it. His only excuse was that he doesn't "love" Katie, like that is supposed to make anybody feel better!
All of this really pisses me off, even more so - though we don't exactly know how far this surrogate relationship would go if Lou hadn't accidently spied on them - once he broke up with Lou and she was all hurt and heartbroken, it didn't put him off from futher pursuing his thing with Katie.
I'm sorry that I didn't give a more definite answer, it's just all this thing was a great disappointment to me and I was burdened with the same questions as you and I also wanted to discuss it with somebody. I hope someone will be able to explain Sam's cheating in a way that I would understand and forgive him like Lou did, because right now I am at a loss.
Actually, was it right for me to assume that Sam dated Katie after his break up with Lou but before the funeral ("I’m not with Katie. I wasn’t when I last saw you. I don’t want to say too much but it became clear pretty quickly that we are very different people")? The writing is so evasive, it kind of tells everything but not exactly.
D
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Sarah
I like to think that he didn't sleep with Katie but he does admit that maybe he felt more for Katie than just friends or work partners. I think that's what he meant by "deceive." He was originally in denial about his feelings for Katie when Lou questioned him. He also invited Katie over to his house and (at least) cooked dinner for her. In Lou's mind, that wasn't appropriate for a man in a relationship with another woman.
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