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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking,
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Carrie
Susan talks about the pretending idea you mentioned quite a bit in one chapter. There are plenty of case studies about it as well. What you are describing is basically called Free Trait Theory by Dr. Brian Little so you can read up about this on your own easily on the internet. Susan does a fantastic job explaining Little’s theory. The idea at the core is saying that introverts and extroverts have the ability to act like the opposite personalities for a certain period of time particularly if they are passionate about a project or it’s needed to advance at work. But it’s not sustainable. It’s nearly impossible and very unhealthy to try and maintain the opposite of one’s true personality. I can’t remember the term she used but she says that people need to revert back to their safe space after doing something that doesn’t traditionally line up with their dominant personality. The best idea to get out of the book in my opinion is that balance is key. It is probably best to tune into ourselves and self monitor what makes us feel comfortable the majority of the time.
Diane
Yes. In my last year of college, I decided to become more of an extrovert, and indeed I started to have more friends, received more invitations and was voted into the senior prom contest. (Which I had to force myself to do.) But it was exhausting, and after I graduated, I returned to my default introverted self. I might have been more successful in life being an extrovert, but I'm more comfortable being myself.
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