Angelalovesbooks

I just loved this book! Everyone I told about reading this book, were looking at me like crazy. First because I am a teenager and second because, you know, it's really intense. But that me! No, I am not a pervy but I love sensational and intense romance. I recommend it to anyone who wants dirty thoughts with a gentle handsome man who deep inside he's deeply hurt and wounded, but his real heart is pure <3

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Hannah Please read this. You, as a young woman, need to understand these things. I speak from personal experience. Please, read this.

This book is about abuse. Plain and simply. The fact that people are getting off to the same nightmares that abuse victims have to deal with every day is disgusting and shameful. This story masquerades abuse as BDSM. This is not about BDSM. There is nothing wrong with BDSM, but there is everything wrong with abuse.

In BDSM (Bondage/discipline, Dominance/ submission, Sadism/Masochism), safety is the #1 concern. SSC- Safe, Sane, Consensual- is a pillar of the practice. Christian has no regard what so ever for Ana's well-being, and repeatedly does not get her consent. He takes her to a motel for sex when she is too drunk to consent (chapter 5) and point-blank rapes her after she says no (chapter 12). As a general rule in BDSM, the Sub sets the limits. The person being acted upon decides what they will and won't accept. The "Sex contract" he makes her sign in chapter 11 is not a real thing. Real people in a healthy relationship would never have that, I fail to see how that contract would have any legal standing, and that's not how consent works. Consent must be continual, freely given, enthusiastic, and informed.

This book is extraordinarily damaging. It demonizes something harmless and romanticizes abuse. In case you're not familiar, here are some warning signs of abusive relationships:
Possessiveness
Stalking
Constant belittling
Extreme jealousy and insecurity
Coercion into sexual acts
Controlling your actions
Physically hurting you
Attempts to isolate you from family and friends
Victim Blaming
Strong belief in and enforcement of traditional gender roles
Refusal to let you end the relationship
Going through your phone or computer without permission
Manipulation
Too serious about the relationship too quickly

ALL of these appear at least once in the 50 shades books. There is no denying this book is about abuse. And there is nothing sexy about abuse. Can we take a moment to address the immediate power imbalance in the relationship? Christian is a substantially older wealthy executive and Ana is a student. Christian then solidifies this power imbalance by demanding to be called "Sir" while Ana is just "Ana".

Another thing about this book that is particularly distressing is that Christian explains he's into BDSM because he was abused as a child. Rather, this explains why he is abusive. Abuse victims are less likely to be into BDSM because they associate bondage, discipline, pain, or violence with traumatic experiences.

Michigan State University did a study on the effects of this book. They surveyed 650 women between the ages of 16 and 24 and found that women who read the first book were more likely to have a partner that yell or swore at them, 34% more likely to have a partner that exhibits stalking behaviors, 75% more likely to misuse diet aids, and 65% more likely to binge drink. All of these things are associated with being in an abusive relationship. I'm not saying this means reading 50 Shades made them want an abusive relationship, I'm saying reading 50 Shades made them more likely to tolerate abuse. The popularity of 50 Shades has made abusive behaviors seem normal, and that is very dangerous.

Please. 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men will be victims of intimate partner violence this year. Can we please, for their sake, stop romanticizing the abuse, trauma, and suffering they have to endure? This kind of book invalidates their pain. Speaking as someone who escaped and abusive relationship, it makes me physically ill to know that people are getting off to the things I used to endure.

BDSM is perfectly alright. Abuse will never be alright.

Please. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please know that there is help, and there are so many people that want to help you. Here are some sites Loveisrespect.org, Breakthecycle.org, Datingabusestopshere.org, Newhopeforwomen.org.

It's one thing to have a book about abuse, it's another thing entirely to sell a book about abuse as though it is sexy in any manner. I hope that I have convinced you that this book is utterly unacceptable. Please, do not buy this book. Do not in any way support this book.

There are books out there that display BDSM in a healthy light, I recommend you read those instead. Try Secretary, Push the Button, and Screw the Roses, Send me Thorns.
Shomeli Dey i am not a hater of this book but by looking at your question it is correct to respond like others that this book is not for teenagers because you are practically romanticizing it which this book is not about. it is about a abuse and rape victim viewed from a lens of a naive girl.their relationship is problematic but not malicious .so you need to re-read this again when you grow up and in college to really get it. but it is cool if you like it.don't let the judgmental attitude bog you down (Y)
Sharni Benson This is why adults don't want teens reading it, because teens don't have the experience to recognise an abusive relationship when they see one.
Please do not use this as an example of what a relationship should be like, if anyone ever treats you like Grey treats Ana, run, while you still can.

The literary style is very teen fiction, but then again, this did come from Twilight which was abusive to start with.
amaya I lived with a Christian Grey for seven years - poorly-written pseudo-BDSM aside, he IS my ex-husband. Had I not left him, I wouldn't be alive today.

This is not sweet. It isn't fun. It isn't protective, it isn't justifiable. His heart is not pure, he enjoys seeing someone suffer at his expense & attempts to render this 'OK' by falling back on that 'wounded, tortured past' rubbish.

Regardless of anyone's past, a person should ALWAYS strive to be - and is absolutely capable of being - better than those who hurt him or her.

It was not romantic. It's a nightmare, and thank god I'm still here to say so.
Mayu T I am also a teen, but I read this trilogy and loved it! It was an emotional, heart-wrenching story in many ways, and I enjoyed following Ana and Christian through their relationship.
Faith Lynn I agree with your statement! I think this book fantastic no matter what anyone says!
Megan I think crazy doesn't sum it up, more like you need to grow up before you learn a hard lesson.
Christy In a year or 2 go read the Shadowland Masters. A lot better written. And shows the way this lifestyle is suppose to go.. A Master does not hit a submissive in anger.
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by E.L. James (Goodreads Author)
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