Try Not to Die: An Interactive Adventure > Polls

I’m 90% sure it’s Mom but we need to investigate a bit more before abandoning Bob and his bizarre take on galactic history.

I believe it’s my mom, and conclude that the being calling itself Bob, the one that put a live interstellar fish in my ear, is the real bad guy. We need to head up the stairs.

Stick with the plan and jump into Bumblebee’s butt!

Run into the confection store seeking safety and maybe a sweat or two. I did skip breakfast and am a bit peckish.

Try to save our pickles by returning to the transport.

Go with Uncle Kevin’s suggestion, a forty-year-old man who still lives with his mom, and head to the police station.

Go with my little brother’s idea, a sibling I used to affectionately call Turd Blossom.

Retreat to the relative safety of the large industrial dumpsters, which even at this distance smell like a week’s worth of Wookie farts.

Screw this. When am I ever going to have a talking-fish-guy in my head again? We need to listen to him and get to that Camaro.

Slide under the Prius and hide, hoping that the Men in Black and the Reptilians are like most people on Earth and find nothing alluring about a Prius.

Head towards the men in dark suits. At least they’re human, and I might have a better chance amongst my own kind.

Go outside to investigate the would-be clone sighting of Wes.

Stay inside, ponder the situation, continue browsing, and maybe insult Wes some more.

1-5

6-10

16-21

None yet

11-15

Listen to the fish-shaped stowaway making itself at home in my head while thrusting what can only be described as an alien tongue down my ear—all without buying me dinner—uproot myself from the floor, grab Wes, and run out the back.

Without mentioning how my ear has been violated—something I’ll need to work out later in therapy—come up with a decent story to tell my parents that will convince them to leave with me and Wes.