Stop trying to defend your position and start monitoring how many times you begin remarks with ‘no,’ ‘but,’ or ‘however.’ Pay extra-close attention to those moments when you use these words in sentences whose ostensible purpose is agreement with what the other party is saying. For example, ‘That’s true, however . . .’ (Meaning: You don’t think it’s true at all.) Or the particularly common opener, ‘Yes, but . . .’ (Meaning: Prepare to be contradicted.)
