To the Moon and Back

by N.R. Walker

“Sleep?” “Like a baby. Which is a stupid saying, because I can tell you, babies don’t sleep that well.”

I've always thought that! Like a baby: I woke up crying every two hours. D:

What he did to you was a really shitty thing to do. And if karma were to give him an unscratchable itch for the rest of his life, I wouldn’t be mad.”

He collected Toby into his arms, and Toby slept like the dead.

Channeling Tim Gunn: I'm concerned. What became of the kettle that was "just put on" before things got headed in the direction of bed??

There was no way Gideon couldn’t not know.

God, I wish authors wouldn't do this. So confusing --- I swear, Mom, I didn't not do it! There's no way I didn't not do it!

Gideon was laying down and Toby was half laying on top of him,

He was lying down... first with the double negative, now we don't know when to use lie and lay.

But then Smug McFuckface had to turn up with his pretentious coat and shoes and over-tweezed eyebrows.

Toby had to wonder if Pretentious McFakeTan wanted to come back, what Gideon would say?

Benson crawled into the kitchen and stood up by himself by using the hairs on Toby’s legs.

Holy yeti fur... really?

Friday’s,

No fucking apostrophe. It's a plural, not a possessive, nor a contraction. Did the proofreader fall asleep? (...and she's not referencing the restaurant...)