To the Moon and Back

by N.R. Walker

He was woken up by Toby shoving him away and racing for the bathroom. Gideon must have been draped over him again without even realising. When Toby crawled back to bed, he looked miserable. “You okay?” Gideon asked. Toby’s eyes were closed, a deep frown in place. “My asshole hasn’t been this sore since that sex party in Paris.” Gideon stared at him, and Toby’s eyes flew open like he’d just realised what he’d said—and to whom. Gideon burst out laughing, not sure what was funnier: what Toby’d said or the look on his face. But Gideon had to hold his stomach, and his back ached dreadfully. His laughter was soon a groan. Toby rolled over, away from him. “We’re going to pretend I never said that.” “Bien sûr.”

They were so close, their bodies almost touching. The heat between them ready to combust. Toby dropped his pillow and slid his hand along Gideon’s jaw, feeling the stubble over heated skin. Those pink lips almost did his head in, and if he didn’t kiss them, feel them and taste them, Toby was sure he’d lose his mind. He leaned in, lifted Gideon’s jaw a little, their noses barely an inch apart. Gideon gasped, and he licked his lips. “Tell me yes,” Toby breathed. Gideon slow blinked, his eyes dark. “Yes.” Thank god.

“I want you,” Gideon said, his voice rough. “But I have to know if you’re okay with that. I know it’s complicated, but fuck, Toby, I want you. I want you in my bed, not just to sleep. I want to be with you. But I need you to tell me you want this.”

“I’m very okay with this,” he replied. “It’s all very new and you’re very forthright about such things. For what it’s worth, I find you very attractive too.” He tried not to blush. “I’ve tried to not think of you that way for a while now.” “Any luck?” He chuckled. “None.” Toby smiled as he sipped his coffee and Gideon wasn’t sure what to say next. They probably still had things to discuss, but he needed to get his head around everything first. “Just so you know,” Toby said, “I’m vers. Top or bottom, I’m bossy either way.” Gideon’s coffee came out his nose.

“Hey,” Gideon whispered. “Want to tell me what’s really wrong?” “Your stupid ex and his stupid eyebrows and knock-off shoes,” Toby blurted out. That wasn’t what he’d meant to say, but his brain threw it out there first so apparently it needed saying. “I don’t want to work for anyone else. I want to stay with you and Benson, and I want to be with you at the same time. I thought I could keep it all separate, but clearly that’s not going well because I’m a mess. And the way that arsehole looked at Benson . . .” Toby paused to give Benson a teary kiss on the forehead, and he met Gideon’s eyes. “He doesn’t even deserve to be anywhere near him, and if you say that he’s not that bad, I’m going to be really fucking pissed, Gideon. My family love you—” Gideon smiled and wiped Toby’s cheek. “I told Drew you were my boyfriend. I told him you adored Benson and that Benson adores you and that made you ten times better for me than he could ever be.”