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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Lauren Asher
Read between
June 19 - June 22, 2023
“Special is the last word I would use to describe you.” It feels far too generic for someone like her.
He laughs. “What happened to swearing off men forever?” “Well, forever does seem like a long time when you think about it…” “Says the woman who thought an ex-boyfriend buying her a spare toothbrush was ‘moving too fast.’”
my relationship history isn’t the prettiest. I’m always the one to bow out before things get real because fear makes me act first and have regrets later. My patterns aren’t the healthiest, but they’ve prevented me from ever turning into my mother. Because while I love her, growing up witnessing her abusive marriage to my father turned me off from ever putting myself in that position. To love means to lose more than I’m willing to part with.
“Either you listen to my conditions, or I’ll call the first reporter on my list and announce our split.” My eyes narrow. “Are you threatening me?” “Me? Never.” She bats her lashes. “I prefer the term motivating.”
My eyes bulge as he shoves a spoon full of cake into my open mouth. “I finally found the perfect way to shut you up.” I glare at him as I taste the most delicious dessert I’ve ever had. His gaze remains glued to my lips as he drags the clean spoon past them. “All I need to do is keep your mouth permanently occupied.” I graciously proceed to choke.
“I don’t do manual labor.” “Then thank God we’re not having a child the old-fashioned way or else I’d be stuck doing all the work.”
“Kiss her again and I’ll enjoy ripping your tongue from your throat.” He holds up his hands. “The only reason I told you about our kiss is so that you can stop thinking I want to make a move on her. I’m not interested in her like that. Trust me.” “Because the kiss was terrible,” I repeat back in a voice erased of any emotion. “Because she was never meant to be mine in the first place.” Damn right she wasn’t. Fake marriage or not, Iris is destined to be with one man and one man only. Me.
“I don’t hate dogs! What kind of monster do you take me for?” “The kind who actually enjoys working for my brother.”
Nana swings the door open. She scans Declan from head to toe before turning her gaze toward me. “I now understand why you’re willing to work weekends and holidays for this man. If my boss had looked half as good as him, I would have never quit.”
Iris always has a superpower of knowing what I need exactly when I need it. She truly is invaluable.
I was excited that she finally met someone who could treat her right. Someone who could prove that love can heal the soul as much as it can destroy it.
“I can assure you that I will always have Iris’s best interests at heart.” Even if they jeopardize mine.
His head does the smallest shake. “You look nice.” Whatever buzz I felt all the way to the tips of my toes dies a quick death. I. Look. Nice? Is he kidding me? He could have said anything—literally anything—and it would have sounded a hell of a lot better than nice. Screw him. I did not spend five hours in a salon chair, being poked, prodded, and waxed for him to say I look nice.
I shut my eyes as his soft lips brush against the corner of my lips. Wait, what? Not even a whole kiss? It was nothing but a tease meant to appease the masses surrounding us. He pulls away, leaving only a centimeter between us. His eyes are screwed shut as if he is in pain. Embarrassment makes my eyes sting. I whisper, “That was hands down the worst kiss in my whole life, and that’s saying something given my last ex—” Declan’s lips slam against mine, shutting me up. A buzz that starts from my lips spreads through my body like a brushfire, and I'm lost in the feel of our kiss.
“You’re so drunk.” “No. I’m buzzed.” “What’s the square root of sixty-four?” “Eight, fuck you very much.” He shrugs. “Sober enough.”
“Remember, no hands!” Cal calls out, and the crowd hoots and hollers. Declan pops a blind arm out and flips his middle finger in Cal’s general direction. A few people laugh while others gasp, probably as shocked as me at Declan’s rare display of feelings.
Why do you care in the first place? This isn’t even real. Because maybe somewhere along the way, I forgot that all of this was a lie.
I turn and walk toward my door, hiding the grin spreading across my face. Iris is the only person with the ability to make me smile. Not that she knows it. I’ve done everything in my power to hide how much sway she has over my moods.
Hehe
She dares to shoot me a scathing look over her shoulder. Is she really going to ignore me while flirting with him? He’s wearing a wedding ring for crying out loud.
Is he for real right now? He’s one to talk about trust issues when the man has a seventeen-digit code to unlock his cell phone.
HELP
The only visual aid I want is of my hands wrapped around Declan’s neck, stopping his airflow.
“She taught me how anyone can buy a house, but not everyone can buy a home. With a house, you can buy it, sell it, renovate it.” I point at the TV. “But a home is more abstract. It’s not a place, but a feeling I can’t describe, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.”
“What good is having all this money if I have to follow the law?” “There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don’t even know where to start.” “Then don’t.”
The doctor checks the scans. “It looks like you have a boxer’s fracture.” Her face brightens. “That sounds badass.” I glare at her. “Calm down, Muhammad Ali. I wouldn’t count today as a victory by any means.” The doctor’s eyes lighten. “Next time, avoid any initial contact on the fourth and fifth knuckles.” “Please don’t encourage her.”
“I’m only agreeing to this scheme because you broke a few laws to make it happen.” “If I ever get caught, it’s a good thing I have you to bail me out of jail.” “Who says I wouldn’t be in there with you?”
“I’m enjoying the view.” She glances out the window. “Says the man who hasn’t even looked outside once.” “That’s not the view I’m talking about.”
“I’m not confused. Far from it, actually. I know exactly what I want.” “And what is that?” “You.”
Our marriage might be fake, but these feelings burning inside me are anything but. It’s only a matter of time before I make her mine. She just doesn’t know it yet.
“You sure know how to make a man feel special.” His lips curve, throwing me back to the night when our whole lives changed. “Special is the last word I would use to describe you,” I repeat his words from our engagement party back at him.
“Then ask me what word I would use to describe you.” I really shouldn’t, but curiosity wins out. “Fine. What word?” There’s something about the way he looks at me when he says it that makes butterflies take flight in my stomach. “Yuánfèn.”
Yuánfèn: A predestined infinity.
I copy and paste the word I found that describes exactly how I feel and press the send button. Me: Kilig1. I throw my phone across my bed and don’t touch it until the next morning. It’s not until I get dressed and put my makeup on that I have enough courage to open Declan’s message. Declan: Merak2.
TRANSLATE THIS
mamihlapinatapai
backpfeifengesicht
“Because I care.” “But have you ever asked yourself why you care?” “Because…” I could fill in the blank with so many responses, each equally questionable from Cal’s perspective. Declan gave me a chance to learn from my mistakes when other bosses fired me within a week for “careless” typos and an inability to work fast enough. He pushed me to try harder and think of the big picture, which helped me build enough confidence in myself. Unbeknownst to him, he helped me grow into a woman who believed in herself, and for that, I owe him so much.
1 Noun, Tagalog: feeling of exhilaration or elation caused by an exciting or romantic experience. 2 Verb, Greek: to do something with pleasure. 3 Noun, Yaghan: a look shared between two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin. 4 Noun, German: a face badly in need of a fist.
Strikhedonia
“You look…” He pauses. “If you say nice, I swear I’ll make your death look like an accident.” “Devastating.”
Noun, Greek: the pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it.”
“Are you cold?” He frowns at me. I only nod, afraid my voice would betray how I really feel about his proximity. He stands and shimmies off his jacket. “Here.” He gestures for me to scoot forward. I comply, jaw gaping as he slides the material over my shoulders. It smells like him—clean with a hint of spice. Without looking too obvious, I take a second sniff, allowing the scent of him to filter through my lungs.
“Marriage is like going on a road trip with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, except you have no map or fancy GPS system to help you out. You might not always agree on what music to play or which direction you should go. I can guarantee there will be moments you want to rip your hair out—or each other’s. Just like there will be times that test you, where you think that maybe things would be easier if you hitch a ride with someone else. The point is, life is going to throw a lot of things at you. Stuff like flat tires, dead ends, and mechanical issues. But you can either
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I try and fail which makes her break out into another fit of laughter. If that’s the reward I get for looking like an idiot, so be it.
Some people try to outbid me for whatever catches Iris’s attention, but I outmatch them every time. By the time the auctioneer steps away from the podium, I’ve spent over fifty-million dollars solely for the rush I get whenever Iris smiles.
“I think my feet need to be amputated.” She flinches as she loses her footing. I don’t think as I haul her over my shoulder, bringing her ass to my eye level. “Problem solved.”
While I shower, I comb through the memories of last night. Leo and his toast. Declan and I dancing until midnight. Him carrying me around like a sack of potatoes because my feet hurt.
I try to ignore the way a thousand sparks shoot off my skin whenever his body brushes against mine. Every time I sharply inhale, his lips seem to curve at the edges. I swear he does it all on purpose.
“What are you doing?” “Helping my wife.” My throat bobs. “You’re growing a bit too comfortable with that nickname for my liking.” “I use it to remind you of your place.” “And what’s that?” “Mine.”
“I want an equal exchange…” He pauses, and my breath stalls in my chest. Another kiss? A real date? A blow job? The options are endless really.
“I might be cold, rude, and distant, but I’m not blind. My whole job is about evaluating assets and it turns out that you’re my biggest one.”
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to keep you by my side.” “You don’t need to try too hard. I am your wife after all.” “Even if you weren’t, I won’t give you up.”
