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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Lauren Asher
Read between
June 19 - June 22, 2023
Forelsket
“Some words aren’t meant to be translated.” “That’s such a lie! All your words have translations.” “Correction. Some words aren’t meant to be translated by you.”
KASI NAGLALANDI KA!!
“What made you start using them again?” He turns and looks at me. “Not what but who. We both struggle with words in our own ways. Me with expressing them, and you with reading them.” His explanation makes each word he shares feel even more meaningful.
1 Noun, Norwegian: that overwhelming gut-rush euphoria exclusive to the beginnings of falling in love.
“They must be pretty important if you’re going out of your way to subject yourself to walking around a garden for hours while holding my hand.” “You have no idea.” I turn my head away so he doesn’t catch me smiling at his lie.
I gesture toward the lotus flower stems peeking out of the murky water. “These are my absolute favorites.” “Why?” He pockets his hands and stares at me head-on without a flicker of emotion. “Because it amazes me how the most beautiful flower can blossom from the worst conditions.”
“You’re a crazy plant lady.” “Please. I haven’t officially earned that title until I have a greenhouse of my own.” “Do you want one?” “A greenhouse?” “Are the pesticides in here getting to your head or are you just struggling to comprehend what I’m asking?” “Maybe I'm struggling because of what you're asking in the first place.” His chest heaves from a deep breath. “Would you like a greenhouse?” “In your backyard?” “I think we can start calling it ours, seeing as you live there too.”
“Is narcissism genetic or is our child safe from that awful personality trait?” The way he says “our child” sends a wave of something through me that I refuse to acknowledge. “Depends. If we’re going based on paternal history, they are screwed from the start.” He reaches out and runs his thumb across my bottom lip. “Hopefully they inherit their mother’s selflessness instead.” I officially raise the white flag as I stand on the tips of my toes and kiss him.
The uncertainty is driving me crazy, and it isn’t fair to him. He planned a date for me and pretended it was a fake one just so I would go. I don’t think anyone has done something so sweet for me ever.
I’m cut off as he hauls me over his shoulder, stealing me before I ever have a chance to run. “Are you kidding me? We’re back to this again?” I pound my fists against his back. He turns toward the stairs. “I want to conduct a more thorough observation.” “Are you insane?” “When it comes to you, that was never a question.”
His body deserves to be a national monument. If I didn’t suffer from an insane amount of jealousy, I would nominate him myself.
I found my newest addiction, and it happens to be my fake husband.
“I’m not trying to hurt her, dumbass. I’m trying to show her that I care about her,” I snap. Cal’s eyes widen. “Holy shit.” These are the moments I wish life had a rewind button. “You care about her? Really?” The mystified look on his face reminds me of the day I told him Santa wasn’t real.
He grabs my glass of whiskey, takes a sip, and unceremoniously spits it out, straight back into the same cup. To think we are related.
Instead of an intense wave of panic at the idea of loving Iris, I feel calm. Love ,I can work with. I might not know how, but I’m willing to learn. For her and only her.
He blinks up at the ceiling before looking at me. “Good morning.” His arms remain locked around me, equally as irritating as his legs securing me to his side. “You can take your good morning and shove it up your ass.”
“Stop fighting and give me ten minutes.” “You don’t deserve ten seconds, let alone ten minutes of my time.” “How about ten words then?” I laugh. “I’d like to see you try.” “I am falling in love with you, Iris Elizabeth Kane.”
“Ask me why I hate when people use Times New Roman instead of Arial.” “Are you serious right now? What does that have to do with any of this?” “Because I chose it for you.” “I’m sorry, what?” “I read somewhere online that sans serif fonts are easier for people with dyslexia to read, so I changed my requirements. Forced everyone else I oversee to switch with me or else they would face my wrath. All because I wanted to help you.”
“You’re sorry? I spent months on my presentation, perfecting it to the point of obsession, only to be rejected because you were too selfish to let me go? Who does that?” “Someone who doesn’t understand the first thing about loving someone, but is willing to try if you give me a chance.”
“I’m not asking you to love me back. I don’t expect that and I’m not sure if I ever will because I’m the furthest thing from lovable. I’m selfish, rude, and don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship with someone. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try for you if you let me.”
“Give me a chance and I’ll tell you them every single day.” I sigh and look away. “I don’t know.” “Tell me what’s stopping you.” “You don’t do relationships.” “Good thing I’m married then.” I shake my head. “Our marriage isn’t even real.” “A scrap of paper doesn’t define what we are. Feelings do, and mine are a hundred percent genuine.” I avoid his penetrating gaze. “What if my feelings are telling me to run?” “It’s cute you think you can outrun me, but I’ll give you a head start just to make things interesting.”
I want to give him a chance, regardless of the potential fallout. You might get hurt. I might, but I might miss out on something special because I’m too afraid of the what-ifs. I’m done being that person. Even if it means getting hurt, I’d rather try and fail than never try at all.
He makes me feel cherished. Protected. Loved in a way that makes me never want to come back down to reality. I could spend forever being kissed like this and still feel like it isn’t enough. While Declan might not be the best with words, his kiss says it all. He is falling in love with me. No translation necessary.
I dropped the idea after he protested it, so knowing he went out of his way to plan it anyway… It makes me want to kiss him. Or fuck him. Or kiss him and fuck him.
“I’m not pregnant.” Declan reenters the room. “Not yet at least.” My whole body feels about twenty degrees too hot. The way this man looks at me makes me wonder if it’s possible to get pregnant via intense staring and palpable longing.
“Well, that’s my cue to go find something stronger to drink. There’s no way I’ll get through being the fifth wheel without wanting to chop my own dick off.”
Gezelligheid
“Since when do you care about making people happy?” “I couldn’t care less about anyone else’s happiness besides your own.” My chest aches from his confession. “That has to be one of the sweetest—but extremely fucked up—things anyone has ever said to me.”
“Because you should do nice things because you want to, not because you think it would make me happy.” “I want to make you happy, so therefore, I do nice things.”
He cups my cheek and draws me toward him. “Is it still considered torture if I let you come?” “I’ve unlocked a sexed-up monster.”
Noun, Dutch: the warm feeling of being surrounded by loved ones; the state or fact of being cozy.
I want to smack the back of his head but hold back. I’d hate to waste his last brain cells with something impulsive.
“Who said you were invited?” She looks at him like a bug beneath her shoe, and I could kiss her for it. He waves a hand down his body. “I’m part of the promotional package.” “Not happening,” I respond for her. He looks over at Iris for help and she shrugs. “He’s the boss.” Forget kissing her. I could fuck her for standing by me instead of Cal on something like this.
“Please tell me you went about this plan the legal way.” “That depends on if you consider it illegal to hijack Yakura’s travel plans to the Grand Canyon and pay someone to ground his plane in Florida.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “You didn’t.” She laughs, and it does something strange to my heart rate. “Of course I didn’t! Although I’m flattered you think I could pull off such a stunt.” “I wouldn’t put it past you to accomplish anything you put your mind to.”
“It’s the middle of a workday, and you have a meeting with the head of park development in ten minutes.” I check the time on my computer. “Clock is ticking then.” I press the automatic lock button underneath my desk, and the clicking sound makes her brows rise. “What are you—” I latch onto her hand and pull her straight onto my lap. “You’ve lost your goddamn mind.” “Then I hope I never find it again.”
I play with the lacy strap of Iris’s green thong. If it wasn’t my favorite color before, it sure as hell is now.
“Zahra, you can go ahead and schedule tomorrow’s activities. It might be hard for her, but Iris can survive a day without me.” I stick out my tongue. “Please. I don’t think you’ve spent a whole workday without me for three years.” His voice drops as his dark eyes capture mine in a trance. “And I don’t plan on doing so anytime soon.”
“What if I’m not ready? What if this is all too much all at once and I can’t handle a new relationship and a new baby?” His throat bobs. “Then we wait.” “Even if it means holding off on you becoming CEO?” “Even then.”
“I could spend the rest of forever with you and it still wouldn’t be enough time to finish everything I have planned for us.”
“Are you sure about this?” His voice is hesitant. “Only if you are.” “I don’t deserve you. Never have and never will, so long as I live.” “You are worthy of good things.”
Daisuki1.”
Szeretlek2.”
“Ich liebe dich3.”
I might not be able to recite foreign words like him, but I understand tone and body language, and whatever he says makes my heart feel so full, it might burst. You’re falling for him. For the first time ever, I’m not afraid of love. If this is what it feels like, I’m willing to try, consequences be damned.
1 Japanese: I love you. 2 Hungarian: I love you 3 German: I love you.
Of course he didn’t show up. Declan’s priorities will always align with the company no matter the cost. He has been trained since a young age to work like that, and I was willing to be second best because his love is worth it. Was. His love was worth it. Not anymore though. I could live without feeling like he took my heart and shattered it into a million pieces.
I hope Declan gets the deal. Not because I’m petty or mad, but because I want it to be worth everything he lost to get it—the option of earning my love included.
“You don’t need to do anything. He’s the one who messed up, not the other way around. I know you’re used to always picking up after his messes, but sometimes you can’t fix everything for him.” My throat bobs. “What if he doesn’t fix it?” “Then he was never worthy of you in the first place.”
“You’re only as strong as your biggest fear. Take your father for example: he is afraid of being powerless, so he will go out of his way to ruin his own child’s success just to feel strong and relevant. It will be his greatest downfall one day—I can guarantee that. So choose to learn from him and his mistakes before it’s too late for you. Embrace your fears and grow from them or spend the rest of your life fighting them at every turn.” I try to stop myself from speaking but lose the ability to control my words. “What’s mine?” He laughs. “Go do some soul searching and find out for yourself. I
...more
“I’ve made some mistakes.” Rowan blinks but stays quiet. “I’ve said things I’m not proud of. Made threats, talked down to you, pushed you away because you made a decision I didn’t like. As your big brother, I’m supposed to set the example. Be the bigger person. Make the best choices. Stay strong no matter how much I’m being beaten down. Except all I’ve done is show you what not to do. Instead of letting you become your own person, I was trying to shove you back into a mold you didn’t fit into anymore. It was selfish of me, and I’m sorry.”
