The Unquiet Bones

by Loreth Anne White

We live in a society that places high value on resolving problems, on finding solutions, on ‘getting over’ things quickly. But when society is faced with people who are missing, there’s a disconnect, a discomfort. They don’t know how to cope with people who are missing loved ones, or with situations that actually have no answers or resolutions. We should not be forced to chase closure,” she warns. “What we need to find are ways to coexist with our complex feelings, and to always remember that our reactions are completely normal.” She glances at Jane. “They’re not a sign of personal weakness.”

“Maternal response to a child’s sexual abuse is critical. A mother’s support for a victim can help stop the abuse and mitigate the immediate psychological effects, plus decrease negative long-term outcomes. Without it, adults who were incestuously abused as children end up as adults presenting with a myriad of psychological problems, including sexual dysfunction, periods of promiscuity, depression, intense guilt, substance abuse, marital difficulties. And they risk emotionally or physically abusing their own children, committing incest themselves.”

“Emotion is not weakness, Jane. Empathy is not soft. It’s what makes us most human. Most strong.” She pauses. “It’s why I loved your father. And you are his daughter. Just as strong. Just as kind. And being a woman doesn’t mean you should fight harder to appear cold and professional. We need to change perceptions about what is powerful and strong.”