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“Until you walked your colorful, messy, and extremely tempting ass into my apartment. I’ve never once felt taken advantage of by you. In fact, if you remember, I was the one who didn’t want you paying rent. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t need to save money anymore, you’re not leaving.”
“So, are we done with the whole bullshit conversation about you moving out?” Ocean eyes drop to my mouth. “But I spend a lot of your money.” “Someone needs to.” “And I’m messy. You don’t like messy.” “I like your mess.” “And I’m needy. I have no idea how to be alone.” “Good. I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to be with me.” His eyes fall to my throat, watching it work its way through a swallow. “Come home with me, Blue.”
“Are you just pretending?” He pulls away, laughing deep and full. “I stopped pretending a long time ago, Ind.”
It’s the sound coming from him that does it for me. The laughter, the ease on his face. The handsome smile he wears that I didn’t see much of when I first moved in. Seeing Ryan relaxed with me is what drops me over the edge.
“I fucking love kissing you.”
“Just be careful with me, yeah?” He’s kidding, I know this, but there’s no denying I will be careful with Ryan Shay’s heart for as long as he lets me have it.
I loved the idea of the life I thought I was going to have, but with Indy, even if we spend the rest of our days just the two of us in this apartment, I’d die a happy man with an abundantly fulfilled life.
“Can you be that for me?” “I can be anything for you, baby.”
At some point, I should probably tell her that my love language is whichever one she wants it to be so she can stop guessing. I’ll make sure that girl feels loved however she needs.
miss the old me, but my body feels light with hope that I’m on the way back to him.
It’s charming and sweet, and I’m proud as hell of him.
My stare breaks from her feet to find her smiling proudly, wearing my favorite emotion of hers—joy.
Alex asked me to go home with him, I told him my home is on the twenty-second floor of a building downtown.
“Well”—she puts her hand over mine and squeezes—“that’s because he loves you. He doesn’t want to lose you.”
“Sometimes the quietest love is the loudest,” she continues.
I am learning sign.
“Oh, Indy.” She places her hand on top of mine, the both of us watching Ryan and Sarah. “That man loves you. That right there is quiet love.”
I like her chaotic and emotional. I like her messy.
“You can hide with me forever, baby.”
“I want you, Indy. I want us. I want our little life we’ve built even when we thought we were pretending. I want you in our house because you’ve made it a home. I want your mess and your chaos. I want your genuine smiles, the ones you wear when you’re around my sister, the hockey team, and me. I want you happy, and I want to be the reason you are. I want you to choose me.”
“God, I love you. I think in a way, I’ve loved you since our first breakfast together. You brought me back to life, Ind, and I will love you as long as you’ll let me.” “Promise?” Pulling her in, I take her lips with mine. “I’ll even add it to the fridge.”
I will burn the world down to protect her and I’ll proudly wave the match, so everyone knows I’m the one who did it.” I pop off the bar to go find Indy, but then I add one more thing. “You know that jersey you’ve got with my last name on it? When you see it hanging there in your closet, let it serve as a reminder to you, that soon enough, it’ll be her last name too.”
Daily update—I’m in love with your brother. Stevie Best daily update I’ve ever received.
“Because they’re your family and you’re mine, and the fact you even have to ask is mind-blowing to me. Learning to communicate with your family is the bare minimum, Ind.”
Jogging back to my team, Zanders shouts from behind me. “What about me? You don’t love me?” “Love you too, brother!”
I’m not great with words, so I’ll keep this short. I love you. I will love you as long as you'll allow me the privilege, and even longer after that. I have every intention to give you the life you want. I hope you’ll let me.
“Of course, Indigo. You’re my girl. I’ve got your back.”
“He never left. The guy slept in his car, and honestly, if I were into dudes that right there would have me folding.”
“I’ll have you know I've kept those alive for three whole days now.”
“I didn’t realize how lonely I was until you. All this time, you were existing outside of those four walls of my apartment. Everything I’ve ever needed existed outside of that apartment. Then you came inside and brought me back to life and I refuse to go back to my world before you. I won’t go back to life before you, Ind.”
“I love that you read romance novels to feel something. I love that you love flowers and plants because nurturing and allowing something to grow is second nature to you. I love that you experience every emotion so hard it takes over your entire body. But baby, I want to be the one to make you feel how your favorite books do. I want to be the one to give you children to nurture and grow. When you think of me, the only emotion I want you to feel is unconditional, earth-shattering love. Because when I look at you, I see my entire future and I can’t stand to live in a world where you look at me
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want this place to be where everyone gathers. I want team dinners here. I want our friends over. I want our kids to have their friends over. We can breathe out here, Ind. There are no fans or media waiting outside of the building. You should see the stars at night. It’s incredible, and there’s so much room outside. You can have a whole garden or a greenhouse. And I can’t wait to watch you turn this house into a home just like you did with the apartment.”
“No, you didn’t want your parents paying for that. You said you felt uncomfortable for someone else paying for you to start a family. Well, it’s going to be my family too, so I don’t count.”
months. My heart has been his even when I thought I didn't have any left of it to give. He healed it when someone else broke it, and now it’s his forever.
“Are we doing this forever or what? The four of us. Raising babies, and growing old together?” “You tell me, Indy. Are we doing this forever?”
“There’s this insane pressure in professional sports to be perfect at all times. To be a machine. I have thousands of people watching my every move to see if I’m worth my salary, and I can’t complain. I have the best job in the entire world, and I love our fans, but I am human. As much as I tried to convince myself I wasn’t, I am. I make mistakes. I have bad games. I miss important shots and I beat myself up over those failures more than any fan, coach, or GM would.”
“So, yes, I hope we win tonight, but the sun will still rise if we don’t. I’ll still have my family and friends and teammates if we don’t. And I hope I don’t get traded because I fucking love this team and I love this city, but that’s out of my control. So I’m going to go out there tonight and try my best while I have some fun with my guys.”
“Yeah, no shit, Shay. You don’t make the kinds of changes you’ve made for any reason other than love.”
My best friend and the person who owns every part of me.
“We live our happiest lives out here. You and me. Even if it’s always just you and me. Even if children aren’t in our future, we remember how grateful we are to have found each other.”
Words stick in my throat, so I simply nod, sign, and mouth, “Thank you.” “No. Thank you.”
“I’m happy that you’re happy.” “I’m happy that we’re happy.”
grow up a bit for that to happen. “How’s this year’s flight crew?” I ask. He pops his shoulders. “They’re not you two.” “Honey, we quit years ago. You’re going to have to move on.”
