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Death. Pestilence. Famine. They surround me, my lovers, the terrifying Unseelie Princes.
Cold. How can fire be so cold?
Someone who frightens me. Excites me.
Who the fuck are you?
I’m nobody.
I know stuff about Mac that she’d kill me for, if she knew I knew. Good thing she doesn’t know.
I know Mac like we’re sisters.
Who wants to get old and wrinkly?
I take the blame a lot. I don’t care. I do what needs to be done.
Power. Sex. Death.
I wipe my face. My fingers come away red. My eyes are leaking blood. Freaky. Kinda cool. Vamps got nothing on Fae.
I tell her everything she wants to hear. I’m lonely, I say. Mac was nice to me. I’m sorry I was so stupid.
Where the feck is V’lane? Why hasn’t he come for Mac? Why didn’t he stop the Unseelie Princes from raping her?
Men. Dude, they suck.
See, her and me? We’d die for each other.
I’m so embarrassed I could die.
“Has the bitch hurt her?” If looks could kill! Someday somebody’s gonna look at somebody about me like that.
I think I just had my first ever orgasm killing an Unseelie Prince. That’s wrong. I hate it. I hate that it made me feel that now. It wasn’t supposed to be that way.
Barrons sees me. He really sees me!
I am heat. I am need. I am pain.
I touch myself. I need. I need.
I collapse. I am grief. I am despair. I am desolation.
I am in a place beyond words. There is only skin and flesh and need.
The creature that holds me now will do more than end my pain. It will fill all that is empty. It is an animal, too.
I am alive. I am so alive. I have never been more alive in my life.
He says many mystifying things. I ignore them all.
I know what “no” means. And I do not like it. I pout. But it quickly curves into a smile. I know a secret. For a beast of such power, his self-control with me is weak.
He is hard and ready. He is always hard and ready.
Fuck. There’s a word I understand. “Yes, please.”
I dream of mirrors that are doorways to dreams and gateways to hell.
If my beast thinks to leave me, I will track him. He is mine. I tell him so.
On a predator scale of one to ten, I have enticed a ten. That means I, too, am a ten.
Say my name when you tell me to fuck you.”
He is a strange beast. But he gives me what I want. I suppose it will not kill me to do the same.
“Revenge.” Yes. That is what I want.
Food is pleasure.
I would rather have sex. He refuses to comply. We have one of our spats. He wins because he has what I want and can withhold it.
He makes me put on “clothes.” I hate them. They are tight and chafe my skin.
Death, silence, lust, power. Those things give me peace.
He stares down at me. “See how you look at me. Fuck. I understand why they do it.” “Who does what?” “The Fae. Turn women Pri-ya.”
I am lust. He is my world.
Our sex is savage, as if we are punishing each other. I feel something changing. In me. In him. In this room. I do not like it.
“You should have been there!” I snarl, but I have no idea why. I was never at a church. I am shaking violently. I feel like I might explode. He drops to the floor on his knees in front of me and grabs my shoulders. “I know I should have!” he snarls back. “How the fuck many times do you think I’ve relived that night?”
I am awed by his strength. It excites me. Our sex is primitive. It exhausts me. I sleep. I do not know who I am anymore. I thought I was an animal. I am no longer so sure.
Some say dreaming is another place we go. That we don’t know it as such because it’s not a physical realm we recognize. It exists in another dimension, which mankind has not yet discovered and to which it attributes no credence. I dreamed my life back.
I am vengeance. But no longer hot. I am cold vengeance, the lethal kind.
Inside that hollowed-out woman, there’s a place they can’t touch. There’s more to me than I thought there was. Something that no one and nothing can take away from me. They can’t break me. I won’t cease. I’m strong.
We want to feel something: Alive. Electrically, intensely, blazingly alive. Good. Bad. Pleasure. Pain.
I was mad as hell.
Nothing had gone as planned. Not one thing.
